Querying is Hell

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to write my query letter for Forget-me-not. It’s short and hopefully sweet. Input is welcome! Does it need to be expanded? I do plan to adapt the short paragraph targeted at each specific literary agent, explaining why I’ve chosen to query him or her in particular.

BEGIN LETTER

FORGET-ME-NOT is a contemporary romance offering a nostalgic glimpse back into the 80’s, contrasted against the social technology of the new millennium. The manuscript is complete at 102,000 words.

Unwise life choices haunt Jody, a divorced mom of two. The chance discovery of her high school diary sets in motion a chain of events that puts her in contact with an old flame. Will their second chance at love succeed?

I graduated from XXXX XXXXX University in 19XX with a degree in English. Earlier this year, I launched a freelance business writing firm called XXXXX.

I am writing to you because you represented XXX XXXX by XXX XXXXX, which I count as one of the most powerful books I’ve read.  (Add sentence describing more about the specific book and/or agent’s work.)

I appreciate the time you’ve taken reading my query. My completed manuscript is ready to send at your request.

END LETTER

OK, bring on the critiques!