Querying, Take Two

Revised the query letter a bit. What do you think?

I hoped to query 3 agents today, but so far I’ve only found one that looks promising. Will find 2 more before bedtime!

BEGIN LETTER

If the lost love of your life was just a mouse-click away, would you log off or would you make the click that could change your life?

FORGET-ME-NOT is a contemporary romance offering a nostalgic glimpse into the 80’s contrasted with the social networking technology of the new millennium. The manuscript is complete at 102,000 words and will appeal to women of all ages.

Unwise life choices haunt Jody, a divorced mom of two. The chance discovery of her high school diary thrusts her into a bittersweet journey through her teenage years. Reminiscing sets in motion a chain of events that puts her in contact with an old flame. Will Jody and TJ have a second chance at love?

I graduated from XXXX XXXXX University in 19XX with a degree in English. Earlier this year, I launched a freelance business writing firm called XXXXX.

I am writing to you because you represented XXX XXXX by XXX XXXXX, which I count as one of the most powerful books I’ve read.  (Add sentence describing more about the specific book and/or agent’s work.)

I appreciate the time you’ve taken reading my query. My completed manuscript is ready to send at your request.

END LETTER